Grocery Shopping Strategist Gifts

"I let George order our shopping over the internet today."

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'I've got it written down...'

Supermarket Merge

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

Friendly bacteria

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

Artificial Isle

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

'But what do you sell?'

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

'I lost the grocery list you gave me. So I brought home a few weeks supply of pizza.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'