Supermarket Strategist Gifts

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

'I vote we throw caution to the wind.'

If you don't see what you want... ...tough! (grocery store)

'Is it wrong to accept a loyalty card from more than one supermarket, Father?'

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

Good for you/Good for you in moderation.

"I can help you over here." "Just ignore him."

'Smooth Mustard' and 'Coarse mustard'

'This looks good. The first ingredient is calories.'

"I started out with only two items, but did a lot of impulse buying while in line."

'Shopping forecast'

'Oh no, freezer's on the blink again!'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Buyers remorse items.

Artificial Isle

Welcome to Gargantu-Mart: Please select the cart size that matches your level of consumer confidence...

Warning! Due to rapid inflation, marked prices will likely double before you reach checkout.

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

'Things you forgot to put on your list.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'No, it isn't a 'buy one get one free offer'. You're just seeing double!'

'Need any help with packing?'

Late at night, the supermarket gnomes emerge and mess up one wheel on every cart.

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

'Thank heavens we became Tesco shareholders! Now we can afford to give up farming.'

Geek in a supermarket, "Of course, we're your prototypical hunter-gatherers"

Caveman in the Fruit Aisle of the Supermarket.

This one rolls a smidgen better....

"Competition is in aisle four. . . but we've only got generics."

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

'You're trying too hard to compete with the supermarket.'

'That was a successful trip, three for the price of two at the supermarket.'

'This new breakfast cereal is too expensive.'

"Would you like me to help you pack, or throw your shopping towards you at such a speed, you experience both stress and annoyance?"

Supermarket traffic lights.