Supermarket Strategist Gifts

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

'I vote we throw caution to the wind.'

If you don't see what you want... ...tough! (grocery store)

'Is it wrong to accept a loyalty card from more than one supermarket, Father?'

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

Good for you/Good for you in moderation.

"I can help you over here." "Just ignore him."

'Shopping forecast'

'Smooth Mustard' and 'Coarse mustard'

'This looks good. The first ingredient is calories.'

"I started out with only two items, but did a lot of impulse buying while in line."

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

'Things you forgot to put on your list.'

Late at night, the supermarket gnomes emerge and mess up one wheel on every cart.

'Oh no, freezer's on the blink again!'

'Need any help with packing?'

'No, it isn't a 'buy one get one free offer'. You're just seeing double!'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Warning! Due to rapid inflation, marked prices will likely double before you reach checkout.

Welcome to Gargantu-Mart: Please select the cart size that matches your level of consumer confidence...

Artificial Isle

Buyers remorse items.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Over organized superstore.

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

This one rolls a smidgen better....

Caveman in the Fruit Aisle of the Supermarket.

Geek in a supermarket, "Of course, we're your prototypical hunter-gatherers"

"We may have to forgo the healthy fat/low carb diet in favor of finding food!"

'Which eight do you want?'

Supermarket traffic lights.

"Competition is in aisle four. . . but we've only got generics."

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

'You're trying too hard to compete with the supermarket.'