Retail Strategist T-Shirts

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

"In the absence of an alternative strategy Norman is sacrificing a goat to the God of retail next door."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Everything's gone up."

Sales.

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

Gerald Ratner's return

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

Entertainment systems

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

'I've got it written down...'

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

Sinking sales