Retail Analyst Gifts

Retail therapy graph.

"I don't mean to be a pest but you're part of my target demographic."

"Everything's gone up."

'This has been our most successful closing down sale ever.'

The only trouble is my wife is doing most of the buying.

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

The Jeff Bezos Conspiracy

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

Larry's used art

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

A women in a shoeshop.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Hardy Annuals

How Amazon was invented

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

D.I.Y

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

Sale.

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

"Where can I find the lefts?"