Retail Expert Gifts

"You too? You didn't need it, you didn't want it, you didn't even know what it was, but you bought two."

"I increase my small pension by working as an expert on selling anti-incontinence products!"

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

How Amazon was invented

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Everything's gone up."

Early on-line shopping

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

"I'm part of the problem and loving it!"

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

SupermarketAwful Market.

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

'Our giant sale now on!'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

Early man learns that by walking upright, his hands become free to do many useful things.

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'