Retail Guru Gifts

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

Early man learns that by walking upright, his hands become free to do many useful things.

"I'd like to return this mirror. It makes me look older than I feel!"

Online Trading

"No, honey, you didn't make history on that day - you made halloumi!"

"Hey boss, what's the store motto this week; 'the customer's always right' or 'you can't please everyone?'"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Domestic Superheroes!!

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

The MBA Draft

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'She's so put together!'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

A women in a shoeshop.

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

Career opportunities

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

Keeping warm.