Fashion Guru Gifts

'Does this outfit make me look fat?'

There's a right way to do things,--And a wrong way,

'Must be the Geordie polar expedition team.'

". . .Before I decide, let me get some social validation."

"You wear too many clothes."

'No! I do not like your new outfit!'

Golfer trying to choose which pair of sunglasses to wear.

'All I know is, it's a babe magnet...when women see a guy wearing one of these things, they naturally think he's caring and sensitive, so it reels them in!'

'Sorry, babes, but I need to hang up. My mobile's just become unfashionable.'

Stop now and get some new ideas.

"I used to hate my body. Now, instead, I hate the forces that conspire to make me hate my body."

'Bad news, sir...the enemy is wearing the hottest fashions in uniforms which will render ours, like, totally last year!'

"But without expensive brand logos all over your clothing, you're just another indiscriminate consumer!"

"What I actually said was that wearing jeans with turn ups was the in look this year."

Native American Fashion

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

Lady Dog walker's t-shirt reads 'Custom Made' and man's reads 'As Is'.

'Are your cowhide coats any good?' - 'They held the cows together, didn't they?'

"That's the problem with buying shoes online, you can't try them on first."

'Andy, why are you here on your day off?'

"I just adore these shoes! The clicking of staccato heels is so empowering. . . Do these come in a flat?"

"The single-breasted suit is a classic, but I'd lose the top hat."

Rodin's The Thinker is thinking about clothes.

'I don't like it. The lapels are too narrow.'

'I'm watching a fashion show...it's the 'I'll never be skinny enough to wear these' collection.'

'No no no - that skirt is soooo half past four...'

'Finally. Her lipstick is just right.'

Gel!

Rich Cow: 'Kalista Flockheart'

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

Office Formal.

Hip on the outside, dork on the inside...

'This sure looks like the inside of my wife's purse.'

'Would I look good in this?'

Fringes