Style Guru Extraordinaire Gifts

'...and your dress is wrong for your colouring and too young for you!'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

A women in a shoeshop.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Keeping warm.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"Absolutely not!"

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Do you like my little black number?'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

At the suit makers

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

Mr Metrosexual.

Old hippie gives peace sign.

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

His and Her wardrobe's

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

"That shirt is so last year."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

That every day look.

"Overkill, dude."