Professional Style Guru Gifts

"It's only 9:15, Atkins—how come your tie is already at a four o'clock level?"

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

A women in a shoeshop.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Keeping warm.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"Absolutely not!"

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

Mr Metrosexual.

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

At the suit makers

'Do you like my little black number?'

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

His and Her wardrobe's

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

"That shirt is so last year."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

That every day look.

'Which fashion magazine do you recommend?'

"Overkill, dude."