Style Gurus Gifts

'It's an easy product to sell. We just have patients view themselves in high def.'

'Would you like something too big or too small?'

"What to wear, what to wear.. another tube top, I guess."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

A women in a shoeshop.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"Absolutely not!"

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

Keeping warm.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

Mr Metrosexual.

At the suit makers

'Do you like my little black number?'

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"That shirt is so last year."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

His and Her wardrobe's

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'