Style Guru Extraordinaire T-Shirts

'...and your dress is wrong for your colouring and too young for you!'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

A women in a shoeshop.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"Absolutely not!"

Keeping warm.

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

Mr Metrosexual.

'Do you like my little black number?'

At the suit makers

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

Old hippie gives peace sign.

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

His and Her wardrobe's

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

"That shirt is so last year."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

"Keep heart Rexy boy... even if we strike out, we'll look damn good doing it."

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

"Overkill, dude."