Style Expert T-Shirts

'Did you ever use the American Apparel voucher I gave you?'

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Bad hair day!

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

'She's so put together!'

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"This is daring, but I like it."

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

A women in a shoeshop.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

Pampered and poodled.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Shoe addict.

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"Absolutely not!"

Keeping warm.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

My Bangs: A Play in 5 Acts

The Young Ladies' Young Gentleman

'Do you like my little black number?'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

At the suit makers