Style Consultant T-Shirts

Melania Trump

"I like the suit, but do you have it in a smaller check?"

"It was an emergency, Officer. I had to phone my style consultant to ask which lipstick I should be wearing."

Style Consultant

'It'll never catch on.'

In the Guru District

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Bad hair day!

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

'She's so put together!'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"This is daring, but I like it."

A women in a shoeshop.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

Men's business romper.

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Shoe addict.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Keeping warm.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"Absolutely not!"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Pampered and poodled.