Fashion Adviser T-Shirts

'Which pair of pajamas says 'smart casual'?'

'Perkins, you're my most trusted advisor. Does my ass look big in this suit?'

"I was told I could bring my wardrobe consultant."

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

"I'm giving you an 'A' for the hair, shoes and trousers; but I think the top still needs some work."

"This one simple draping trick will make people think you work out a lot."

'Haven't you heard. Shoulder pads are on their way out?'

'One more thing...Does this outfit make me look fat?'

'No no no - that skirt is soooo half past four...'

'They're pinching my toes!'

'No big deal. That suit needed some color.'

' ... and I'm allergic to bad hair days.'

'You can't fight the system in new-season smart casual.'

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'I warned you! You mix a power suit coat and pants and you short circuit the vest!'

In the Guru District

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

The Style of Elements

Men's business romper.

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Love the bag, Stell! Very career."

'I'll take it!'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

How would Madam like to pay?

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

Trendies, INC

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'

Saleswoman holds mirror up to the backside of the bride's dress