Style Consultant Pillows

Melania Trump

"I like the suit, but do you have it in a smaller check?"

"It was an emergency, Officer. I had to phone my style consultant to ask which lipstick I should be wearing."

Style Consultant

In the Guru District

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

Bad hair day!

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

'She's so put together!'

"This is daring, but I like it."

Men's business romper.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

A women in a shoeshop.

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Keeping warm.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"Absolutely not!"

Pampered and poodled.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Shoe addict.

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."