Style Analyst T-Shirts

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"This is daring, but I like it."

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

Item #3715 - cozy cardigan

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

Curling your hair for no reason

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

Thank you for purchasing the first modular dressing kid for guys

The Return Of The Minipants

"Don't say a word! Your eyes, your hair, your T-shirt, your luggage—they say it all."

'For my latest line, I bought clothes at Target and then changed the label,'

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

Bald Man Overcomb

Trendies, INC

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

SELECTIONS FROM THE "VICTOR'S SECRET" CATALOGUE

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

Georgian head-dress

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

It bag and no knickers!

'That guy is SO tacky.'

Parrot looking in mirror has feather headdress options.

"If they fit, we can return them."

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'