Attire Analyst T-Shirts

If you're a defendant, this necktie has 'innocent' written all over it.

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

Dress for Success suit shop: 'Can I pay you for it later, after I get successful?'

The latest in Eyewear.

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

'No no no - that skirt is soooo half past four...'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

'They're pinching my toes!'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

'It has a zip-out lining in case of a mild winter.'

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

Wearing all black

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

"Madeleine Albright kicked butt in that suit."

"I see we're all going into this interview a little superstitious."

'I warned you! You mix a power suit coat and pants and you short circuit the vest!'

Only Black, Navy Blue, or Grey Suits Beyond this Point.

Womens dressing rooms.

"Would Madam like to try it outside for wolf whistles?"

'You should just buy them - and never look back.'

Short Hair: Expectations vs. Reality

Er! Exactly when was this 'dress for success' book you've been readng written?

"I'm giving you an 'A' for the hair, shoes and trousers; but I think the top still needs some work."

'Does this outfit make my tympanums look big?'

'You won't come out with me in MY outfit when I stay in with you in THAT outfit?'

"One problem is we have a clash of styles."

Missing socks squad.

'I have a dress for every day of the year. Is that it?'