Attire Analyst Gifts

If you're a defendant, this necktie has 'innocent' written all over it.

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

Dress for Success suit shop: 'Can I pay you for it later, after I get successful?'

The latest in Eyewear.

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

'No no no - that skirt is soooo half past four...'

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

"Well, Tarzan, after spending all your time in the jungle, could you handle working in a small cubicle? And yes, there is a dress code, so you'll have to replace that loincloth with a suit and tie."

'They're pinching my toes!'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

'It has a zip-out lining in case of a mild winter.'

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

Wearing all black

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

"Madeleine Albright kicked butt in that suit."

Only Black, Navy Blue, or Grey Suits Beyond this Point.

'I warned you! You mix a power suit coat and pants and you short circuit the vest!'

"I see we're all going into this interview a little superstitious."

Womens dressing rooms.

'You should just buy them - and never look back.'

"Would Madam like to try it outside for wolf whistles?"

'Does this outfit make my tympanums look big?'

Short Hair: Expectations vs. Reality

"I'm giving you an 'A' for the hair, shoes and trousers; but I think the top still needs some work."

'You won't come out with me in MY outfit when I stay in with you in THAT outfit?'

Er! Exactly when was this 'dress for success' book you've been readng written?

"One problem is we have a clash of styles."

"Mini, midi, maxi. Maxi, midi, mini . . ."

'Who the heck is Tom Selleck?'