Appearance Analyst T-Shirts

Comboverandunder.

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

A bald eagle approaches middle age

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

'A neighbour of mine has just come in - put 'em in a size 4 box, will you?'

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

'I envy your metabolism.'

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

"It seems the broadness of your mind and the narrowness of your waist have changed places."

"Actually, I don't read much, they're just background for my video calls."

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

'Anything else you want fixing, while I'm taking the mole off your nose?'

"The gentleman opposite would like to buy you more time."

Am I in good shape, Doc? If you think "spherical" is a good shape. (Published originally on January 9, 2014.)

"I'm not so much interested in 'wellness' as I am 'swellness'."

If you're a defendant, this necktie has 'innocent' written all over it.

Do you have hair, um, rinses that look natural? Of course! So that no one notices? Ahem! Oh, right

Ew, I look terrible! Take one more!

'You are my best work.'

'Oh, come on. . . you can't tell me Dasher hasn't had antler enhancement surgery!'

'Who told you you couldn't change your spots Miss Leopards? Of course you can...'

Plastic Surgery. No, after the face-lift you won't need to walk on tiptoes.

Hairstyles to hide big ears

MD-HDTV

"November 15, 2063 – leonard's eyebrows finally achieve singularity.

A man compares how he looks with different tobacco products before deciding a pipe.

'Before you have your job interview I'll touch up your roots.'

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

"What do you think? I've had an eye lift."