Appearance Analyst T-Shirts

Comboverandunder.

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

A bald eagle approaches middle age

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

'A neighbour of mine has just come in - put 'em in a size 4 box, will you?'

'I envy your metabolism.'

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

"It seems the broadness of your mind and the narrowness of your waist have changed places."

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

"Actually, I don't read much, they're just background for my video calls."

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

'Anything else you want fixing, while I'm taking the mole off your nose?'

"The gentleman opposite would like to buy you more time."

"I'm not so much interested in 'wellness' as I am 'swellness'."

If you're a defendant, this necktie has 'innocent' written all over it.

'You are my best work.'

'Oh, come on. . . you can't tell me Dasher hasn't had antler enhancement surgery!'

Hairstyles to hide big ears

'Who told you you couldn't change your spots Miss Leopards? Of course you can...'

MD-HDTV

"Too much beige."

A man compares how he looks with different tobacco products before deciding a pipe.

'Before you have your job interview I'll touch up your roots.'

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

"November 15, 2063 – leonard's eyebrows finally achieve singularity.

"What do you think? I've had an eye lift."