Appearance Appreciator T-Shirts

'What bothers me is his hairier-than-though attitude.'

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

Mr Metrosexual.

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Silver Fox

Analysis of Beauty - Plate II.

Rating the Sunset

'What a view! The motivational poster doesn't do it justice.'

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

The Return of Tannhauser to Venusberg

"Put another minnow on my line!"

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

A visit to a Victorian Painter.

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

'A neighbour of mine has just come in - put 'em in a size 4 box, will you?'

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

"Your mother was young and restless and knew what she wanted. She wanted out."

Modern Furniture/Sculptures Object to Old Fashioned Chair.

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

Messalina Returning from the Bath - Probably Intended to Illustrate 6th Satire of Juvenal

"Who's idea was it to serve dressed-mutton?"

On some of the paintings my right brain says they're good art, but my left brain says they're bad investments. On others, my right brain says they're bad art, but my left brain says they're good investments.

'Anything else you want fixing, while I'm taking the mole off your nose?'

Francis Bacon

Artist asking a lady to sit for him

'Plastic Surgery. Closed for alterations.'