Body Image Analyst T-Shirts

"It seems the broadness of your mind and the narrowness of your waist have changed places."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

"That's a big fat lie!"

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Aging Problems

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"I can't have anything that's a food."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'You can't handle the truth.' - Scene from 'Do these pants make me look fat' starring Jack Nioholson

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

"Does this dress make my butt look big?"

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

'I think my dieting may be getting out of hand.'

"Hey, great ab!"

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'I envy your metabolism.'

'I hate her...'

'I'm hoping for a heat wave - I could afford to lose a few pounds.'

Well there's something you don't see every day...