Body Image Analysts T-Shirts

'I envy your metabolism.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"That's a big fat lie!"

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Aging Problems

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"I can't have anything that's a food."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

"Hey, great ab!"

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

"Does this dress make my butt look big?"

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'I hate her...'

'I'm hoping for a heat wave - I could afford to lose a few pounds.'

Well there's something you don't see every day...

'It wouldn't be so bad if they were pert and perky.'

'I'd say it's pre-liposuction.'

'Do I climb it or wax it?'