Grocery Guru Gifts

"Thanks, hon. Big help as always."

Suddenly John realized he didn't want paper or plastic, He wanted something new,,, something fantastic,

'She read the ingredients listed on the label.'

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"Looks like they've simplified the nutritional information."

In the supermarket

"I read all package labels for my health. Now my eyes are shot!"

Lard Lite - Marketing

"....Need some of this nice mixed salad, to stick in the fridge & chuck out next week."

Express Lane - Eat this.

'Four of these have to go.'

Chicken: Free Range/Long Range

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

'New! A bonus island of flavor!'

'Best eaten before June and everyone's gone to bed.'

If you don't see what you want... ...tough! (grocery store)

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

Signs in supermarket - 'gulp', 'guzzle', 'graze'.

"How was panic shopping."

'I'm Les.'

How can I ensure I'm getting 100 orange juice? Buy an orange!

"I started out with only two items, but did a lot of impulse buying while in line."

'Excuse me, but which Aisle did you find those on?'

Not in the mood for human interaction line

"At least let me carry the groceries."

"O.K. That's my list. You got anything on your list?"

Woman stuck in frozen aisle.

Car with groceries and items atop car has bumpersticker: 'My other vehicle is a shopping cart.'

'How can I be sure I'm getting 100% orange juice?'

"I forgot why I came in here, but maybe I just came in here to forget."

'Shopping forecast'

Express lane...10 items or less (impulse items exempt).

Meteorite cleanup

Cartoon of Eggs.