Grocery Shopping Gurus Gifts

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

Domestic Superheroes!!

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Only One Item or Fewer.

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

"Wait, what are you doing?"

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

Unusual Offers

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Try our new genetically engineered produce.

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Self-Checkout.

'I've got it written down...'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

Low Hanging Fruit

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

Friendly bacteria

WWFood Stores.

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

Biker chopper shopper

"I think it says 'courgettes'."

"This is Piggly Wiggly, what'd you expect?"