Grocery Gurus Gifts

Under New Management

Confusing supermarket moments: salt - now with 50% less salt.

"Forget about the Wizard, guys...these stores have everything!"

Ants shopping

"Oh, my. . . Billy is so cute!"

"This is the amount you have to pay Casanova. This is NOT my phone number."

"It's not a coupons. It's a printout from your health insurer warning you to cut back on the carbs."

"We don't need dirty, ugly vans and trucks. Our tofu-soy-stuff gets delivered to the supermarkets by lovely unicorns!"

'I never dreamed we were responsible for the coupon manufacturer paying the grocer.'

Man putting ten peas through the 'ten items only' checkout.

Lots of people helping out with the self-service machine.

Forgotten something at the supermarket till?

Attn. shoppers beware suppermarket trolls

Boy, the farmers' market has really changed.

'Excuse me sir, but that's my wife...this is your bag of potatoes.'

Yellow Brick Road leads to...Tesco.

'Well, they finally simplified the nutritional information!'

Lady in supermarket dilema between good food or bad.

'They're doing their tests now?

Warning. This cereal is energy-packed.

'Convenience Product Quarterly calls it 'one of a kind...shattering.''

Bulk: Bed and Breakfast $1.50/pound.

Food Pyramid

Purified Water. Look at these prices! Distilled waters run steep!

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Domestic Superheroes!!

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"