Grocery Guru In Training Gifts

Twenty-first century baby walker

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Domestic Superheroes!!

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'The beef has been genetically modified to make it taste like a more expensive cut.'

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'