Shopping Expert Gifts

I'll have that first pair you showed me. Sorry, they were sold an hour ago!

Supermarket traffic lights.

Cut Price

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

A women in a shoeshop.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"I shop, therefore I am."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

Self-Checkout.