Retail Store Manager Gifts

Fashion Mistake.

Larry's used art

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

Bad for you but to die for

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

Mister Pretty Shoes

How Amazon was invented

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

Sale.

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

Hand sanitizer

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'