Retail Manager Gifts

"Fill out this survey and tell us how great we are and Randy won't follow you home."

"By the authority vested in me by Bloomingdale's, how may I help you?"

"You've increased your prices again! Why?" "Take your pick..."

Statistics: "Here's the sales graph...which way around would you like it?"

Temporarily closed to rethink our concept.

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"We don't sell CDs anymore. We sell colorful jackets for the music you download illegally."

'That's your big marketing plan?'

'We could see the product for $14.95 but we're working to get it up to $49.99.'

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

We accept only digital currency.

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

Express till 'Ten over priced items or less'

'It has everything... I love it!'

"You did it again, BJ. Yet another stirring demonstration of brand marketing!"

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

Museum of Commerce and gift shop.

Customers are not buying your products. . . but solutions to their problems.

"How many customers did you get today?"

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Economic casualties.

Complaints (high up)

STRIP Hambone: Computer Estimates

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.'

'Let's call it even; you sell me the phony Louis Vuitton and I'll pay for it with this phony hundred.'

Mom & Pop General Store - Going Out of Business Slowly But Surely

Don't miss this opportunity to own something really expensive!

Man about to plug in 'Manufacturing' and 'Distribution' together

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"It's important to treat ALL customers as INDIVIDUALS. This for example is individual No. 768-po-56cl."

Malls admit to using cell phones to track shoppers.