Retail Manager Gifts

"Fill out this survey and tell us how great we are and Randy won't follow you home."

"By the authority vested in me by Bloomingdale's, how may I help you?"

"You've increased your prices again! Why?" "Take your pick..."

Statistics: "Here's the sales graph...which way around would you like it?"

Temporarily closed to rethink our concept.

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"We don't sell CDs anymore. We sell colorful jackets for the music you download illegally."

'That's your big marketing plan?'

We accept only digital currency.

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

'We could see the product for $14.95 but we're working to get it up to $49.99.'

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

Express till 'Ten over priced items or less'

"You did it again, BJ. Yet another stirring demonstration of brand marketing!"

'It has everything... I love it!'

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

"How many customers did you get today?"

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

Customers are not buying your products. . . but solutions to their problems.

Museum of Commerce and gift shop.

Complaints (high up)

STRIP Hambone: Computer Estimates

Economic casualties.

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'

Don't miss this opportunity to own something really expensive!

Malls admit to using cell phones to track shoppers.

Man about to plug in 'Manufacturing' and 'Distribution' together

'Let's call it even; you sell me the phony Louis Vuitton and I'll pay for it with this phony hundred.'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

Mom & Pop General Store - Going Out of Business Slowly But Surely

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.'