Retail Managers Gifts

'To gain back market share, Walgreen's will now offer a $5 all-you-can-swallow analgesic buffet on Tuesday nights.'

Stores of Mystery

The Texas Chainstore Massacre

"Our new furniture is a remarkable piece of Japanese technology that changes ambience depending on your mood."

Larry's used art

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

A women in a shoeshop.

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

Hardy Annuals

How Amazon was invented

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

D.I.Y