Retail Employees Gifts

'Let's hope he doesn't turn out to be one of those mystery shoppers.'

'So you want a transfer from light fittings.'

Larry's used art

Killer Executive Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'She's so put together!'

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

A women in a shoeshop.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

New Suit.

Friday

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"How was work?"

New Shoes.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Hardy Annuals

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"We need a union!'

"It's black, but it's not New York black."