Retail Worker Gifts

"The knees are the first to go."

'Just the one, thanks.'

"We've talked it over and we've decided that you must not really be a customer."

'I think we should have a word with Bob about his sales technique.'

'Apparently it was made by a seven year old Indian boy not bad is it...?'

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

'The customer is King'

Man covered in nails returning his nail gun to the store.

'I like the dress but let me do a little comparison shopping, on the internet, first.'

I don't care if your combined age is around 50...I'm not selling you alcohol.'

The Tragedy of Prosperity

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

Good customer service.

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

'This is an 8 1/2. Do you have it in a size 9?'

Customer Services - Ten complaints or less.

'It's from our 'One Size Fits None' line.'

'Do you have one with a bigger back burner? There's a lot of stuff I can't deal with right now.'

'I'm feeling good about myself, again!'

'I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to sell you that smart phone without first verifying your IQ.'

'Sorry ma'am, but a rule is a rule.'

Complaints and Excuses.

Ripped and worn out jeans are much more expensive then regular jeans.

"Of course I don't have your shoes...you told me you wanted them re-sold."

"We just need your e-mail address so we can e-mail you all day every day for the rest of your life."

'He wants a system with lots of memory,but without a mouse.'

Dummys for Windows.

'Oh no, it's the vikings! And they've brought their bloody self-assembly furniture with them!'

"...This one comes with the latest security devices...'

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'It came to $21.45. You only gave me a 20. I'm afraid you're a little short.'

In the interests of hygiene, please use the tongs provided

DIY helpdesk.

'What do you mean I have to buy both of them?! What kind of a business are you running?'

"Now that's what I call customer satisfaction."