Retail Employees T-Shirts

'Let's hope he doesn't turn out to be one of those mystery shoppers.'

'So you want a transfer from light fittings.'

Larry's used art

Killer Executive Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

'She's so put together!'

A women in a shoeshop.

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

New Shoes.

"How was work?"

Friday

New Suit.

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

"We need a union!'

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.