Retail Workers T-Shirts

Do you sell cell phones just for making calls?

A shopping couple commenting on the store staff at a team brief session.

"Staff, we're having a Cinco de Mayo sale this year!"

Customer:'What's new?' Assistant: 'We've just received a shipment of Columbian parrots!' Parrot: 'Polly wants some crack!'

The shopkeeper hadn't met them before, but they seemed like pretty cool customers.

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

Shoe shop

You've sold me two left shoes.

"In this mall, my fellow shopkeepers are my best customers."

'You'll find that these really let your feet breathe'

"Do you sell 'food'?"

'I'm sorry, we no longer accept cash for transactions.'

'You know, if you can wait three weeks, cold medicine will be sale.'

"You never complain when the ball game goes into overtime!"

"They're a little tight."

"Any chance of some credit?"

"That's not the way making money works."

"I appreciate your good service. I used to work in retail...but I always hated how the customer was always right. That's why I became a policeman. My customers are always wrong."

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

"We were a once proud nation of shopkeepers!"

Soul Shopping Channel.

Free range dinosaur eggs

"Here's your receipt so you can bring it back when you remember how old you are."

"You're five items short. You'll have to use the express lane. This checkout is 16 items or more only."

"Do you have any loafers?"

Alternative drug deal gone bad.

"I want to look at toys, cosmetics, neckties, lingerie, and men's lounging robes. Would you mind making an itinerary for me?"

"Don't worry. He won't last long."

"What's the matter, Jack, can't you read?"

But It Makes a Neat Sound

"Do you take cash?"

Army Navy Surplus Store. They're using everything at the moment. (Published originally on June 1, 2005.)

"I heard there might be layoffs."

Failed Alliance.