Retail Professionals T-Shirts

Mammon Stores R and D - "Brainstorm is working on trying to discover the shopoholic gene."

How Amazon was invented

Killer Executive Suits.

Larry's used art

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

'She's so put together!'

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

A women in a shoeshop.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

New Shoes.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

New Suit.

"How was work?"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

Friday

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

'I'd like to return this, please.'