Retail Careerists T-Shirts

"I may have gone disco, Mrs. Mullins, but that doesn't mean my meats are no longer choice lean cuts competitively priced for today's cost-conscious consumer."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

My brilliant career

"How was work?"

How Amazon was invented

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

Early on-line shopping

Hand sanitizer

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

SupermarketAwful Market.

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'Somebody keeps snapping all the stud boards in half. Anybody know anything about this?'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

'Our giant sale now on!'

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

'Get out there and keep your job!'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

Charity Shop Income on Rise

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

"I'd like to make a return."

"Returns"