Careerists T-Shirts

My brilliant career

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

Day one, post grad

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

Someone loses his pension.

'Get out there and keep your job!'

"...Everyone you meet on the way up, you'll meet again on the way down."

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

"Ambitions... to retire on full pay and just go fishing."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'I see you hold degrees in both medicine and law - But tell me, Henderson; do use these powers for good or for evil?'

'At least hanging around street corners reminds us we're at a crossroads in our lives.'

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

'W e e e l l . . . my mum says I'm good at testing the patience of saints'

"...I thought I was too smart, too idealistic to end up this way, but LOOK at me! I've become an entrenched bureaucrat!"

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

"We don't have anything right now, but we'll put you on standby."

"I'd like your honest, unbiased and possibly career-ending opinion on something."

You are more than your job description.

'Your ad said you were looking for a people person.'

'He asked for a raise.'

'You don't have much of a work history, do you, Mr. Laren?'