Store Management Gifts

Man glued to a shop window under a huge 'Closing down sale' poster

"Uh-oh, I think I hear a lawsuit."

"We started out as a five and dime."

Larry's used art

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Cut Price

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Sale.

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

"I'm part of the problem and loving it!"

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

'I think there's been some mistake...'