Shop Management Gifts

"There! I finished the display! It was hard, but I did it!"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Cut Price

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

"This is daring, but I like it."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Stationery Shop

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Penguin suit fitting.

"I'd say business was brisk."

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Orderly Conduct of Sales

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

SupermarketAwful Market.

How would Madam like to pay?

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

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