Shop Management Gifts

"There! I finished the display! It was hard, but I did it!"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Cut Price

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

"This is daring, but I like it."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Stationery Shop

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

Penguin suit fitting.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

Orderly Conduct of Sales

"I'd say business was brisk."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

How would Madam like to pay?

SupermarketAwful Market.

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

Self-Checkout.

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

Office Supplies: New and improved motivational posters, now with 25% more inspiration.

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."