Repair Shop Manager Gifts

"The replacement part is $28, but cost will be $3,200 after we dismantle half the engine to install it."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Cut Price

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

Fixing the TV.

Orderly Conduct of Sales

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

Computer operator welding machine.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Tech support...can I help you!

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

"Frosty the Repairman"

"Was it a fuse?"

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

"Yes, we do fix phones. But, what is that?"

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

"You're late."

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

Zombie plumber calling out for drains...

'A belt will have to be tightened...not the cars...yours.'

"Bear with us, will you? -- We're having technical difficulties over here."