Repair Shop Worker Gifts

Repairs while-u-wait...

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

Fixing the TV.

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

Computer operator welding machine.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Tech support...can I help you!

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Yes, we do fix phones. But, what is that?"

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"Was it a fuse?"

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"Frosty the Repairman"

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

"You're late."

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

Zombie plumber calling out for drains...

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

"Bear with us, will you? -- We're having technical difficulties over here."

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."