Auto Parts Shop Worker Gifts

"My dog chewed up my steering wheel. Then he started gnawing on my floor mats and now he bit off my seat belt. What do you recommend?"

"So...do you have a job now?"

"I hope you don't mind, but I stuck in a little prayer for General Motors."

Our Cars Are Made By 100% American-Made Robots.

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

Stimulus bust

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

"Mr. Rod, we know what's happening...you're laying us all off."

'For Pete's sake, Edward - You're a PINE BEETLE. It's a little late to go into the automotive trade now!...'

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

'If you lose your electrical charge before you get to a recharge, you just wind this.'

'More people will buy our cars if we become a carbon neutral company.'

'The president's speech on how well the recovery is going? Well, make a left at the abandoned mall, a right at the shuttered assembly plant, and a left at the closed steel mill...'

"It means a chieftain tank of petrol."

"Don't worry, man. President Trump will take care of us. . ."

'The management of this shop take the threat of swine flu in their stride.'

'That charge is for my accountant because this job is going to put me in a higher tax bracket.'

'Business has doubled since we organized that women's beach volleyball tournament across the street.'

"I had this weird nightmare. I dreamed I was a muffler! I woke up exhausted."

Where's the difference?

'The new incentive scheme seems to be working!'

General Motors.

'In the off-season I generally do some hunting and fishing, help out in my father's auto showroom, have knee surgery, and work out in my hometown youth center.'

'This may take more work than we thought.'

'Do you cover the deductible?'

"Can you deliver that to me?"

New Big Three bailout cars?

"You're a lousy grocery store."

"I'm sorry, sir. The manager said, you bought it, tough s**t."

On strike at the sign shop