Car Shop Employee Gifts

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

Our Cars Are Made By 100% American-Made Robots.

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

Stimulus bust

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

'If you lose your electrical charge before you get to a recharge, you just wind this.'

'I'd like the inside cleaned please.' - 'Leave the windows open.'

'Of course, the car shower is optional.'

'The president's speech on how well the recovery is going? Well, make a left at the abandoned mall, a right at the shuttered assembly plant, and a left at the closed steel mill...'

"It's our new electric car. We call it the 'Volts Wagon'."

'Business has doubled since we organized that women's beach volleyball tournament across the street.'

'Crash test dummy parking only' sign.

"My dog chewed up my steering wheel. Then he started gnawing on my floor mats and now he bit off my seat belt. What do you recommend?"

'In the off-season I generally do some hunting and fishing, help out in my father's auto showroom, have knee surgery, and work out in my hometown youth center.'

"I had this weird nightmare. I dreamed I was a muffler! I woke up exhausted."

General Motors.

Where's the difference?

"The new car smell is inadequate? Don't move! I'll grab our on-site aromatherapist!"

'Do you cover the deductible?'

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

"Stay away from the piranha tank."

Employee of the Month: Mr Wiggles.

"Can you deliver that to me?"

"You're a lousy grocery store."

New Big Three bailout cars?

"The car's affordable. Going to a tech school to learn how to use all its technology will be a little costly."

"I've been out of work since the showroom closed down."

"After looking over your financial application, I'm going to have our youngest sales rep show you your options."

"This car is very economical on gas. Used hardly any getting over here."

"Do you guys have an emergency evacuation plan?"