Car Showroom Employee Gifts

"I've been out of work since the showroom closed down."

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

It's great for pulling the birds!

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

"Perfect."

'How about a nice saloon?'

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"It's got an incredible range for an E.V."

"Now if it's a people-mover you're after..."

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

'I sense you're in the market for a Hybrid.'

Parts of an automobile

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

'I'd love to put you behind the wheel of this car. However, I doubt the bank will allow you to finance it for 30,000 months.'

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."

'It's for her - Do you have one with a bumper all the way around?'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

'This is the most fool-efficient model to date. It gets 100 smiles per gallon.'

"It's about the 'air conditionin' - Two weeks I've 'ad the car and I've still got split ends!"

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

Autos. You can drive a hard bargain, but you may find a bargain is hard to drive.

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

"I wish I could give you more on the trade-in, but all that guano really did a number on the paint."

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

"It was basically $10,000 per cup holder."

'Power steering.'

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

"Oh ... it's a sub-compact. From across the showroom it looked like you were standing next to an SUV."

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

'And this is our basic model.'

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.

"It's powered by clean hydroelectricity from Norwegian fjords and built from 100% recycled shopping bags. We call it the Smugmobile!"