Auto Dealership Employee Gifts

"It's our new electric car. We call it the 'Volts Wagon'."

"This car is very economical on gas. Used hardly any getting over here."

"The car's affordable. Going to a tech school to learn how to use all its technology will be a little costly."

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

"Perfect."

'How about a nice saloon?'

Our Cars Are Made By 100% American-Made Robots.

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

Stimulus bust

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

SUV's Off A Gas-Price Cliff

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

"... With a slightly above average mileage..."

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

'If you lose your electrical charge before you get to a recharge, you just wind this.'

'Of course, the car shower is optional.'

All-aluminum-body pickup truck with optional door handles.

'Can I sniff the tires first?'

'The president's speech on how well the recovery is going? Well, make a left at the abandoned mall, a right at the shuttered assembly plant, and a left at the closed steel mill...'

'Crash test dummy parking only' sign.

Where's the difference?

General Motors.

'In the off-season I generally do some hunting and fishing, help out in my father's auto showroom, have knee surgery, and work out in my hometown youth center.'

"The new car smell is inadequate? Don't move! I'll grab our on-site aromatherapist!"

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

"We were finally able to take out enough extras to get the car within your budget."

"It's got the best impact protection in its class. You can drive as carelessly as you like"

"And as you can see, the spare log has never been used."

"We'll take it!"

"Crazy that I'm giving it away!"