Auto Dealership Staff Gifts

"The new car smell is inadequate? Don't move! I'll grab our on-site aromatherapist!"

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

"Perfect."

'How about a nice saloon?'

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

SUV's Off A Gas-Price Cliff

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

Autos. You can drive a hard bargain, but you may find a bargain is hard to drive.

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

"... With a slightly above average mileage..."

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

'If you lose your electrical charge before you get to a recharge, you just wind this.'

'Of course, the car shower is optional.'

'Can I sniff the tires first?'

All-aluminum-body pickup truck with optional door handles.

"Yes to the burl-wood dash, no to the leather seats."

'It's about the 'air conditioning - Two weeks I've 'ad the car and I've still got split ends!'

"It's our new electric car. We call it the 'Volts Wagon'."

'Crash test dummy parking only' sign.

"The great thing about selling these babies is that if the buyer misses a payment the car drives itself back to our dealership!"

"She only comes in to try out the heated seats."

'In the off-season I generally do some hunting and fishing, help out in my father's auto showroom, have knee surgery, and work out in my hometown youth center.'

"Yes, it does come with a tech package. It's called a battery."

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

"We were finally able to take out enough extras to get the car within your budget."

"It's got the best impact protection in its class. You can drive as carelessly as you like"

'And when you press this button, the hood comes down.'

"We're not looking for a driverless car. Thanks to the holiday traffic, we're looking for a car that can fly."

"Crazy that I'm giving it away!"

"We'll take it!"

Employee of the Month: Mr Wiggles.