Auto Showroom Worker Gifts

'In the off-season I generally do some hunting and fishing, help out in my father's auto showroom, have knee surgery, and work out in my hometown youth center.'

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

Our Cars Are Made By 100% American-Made Robots.

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

Stimulus bust

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

'If you lose your electrical charge before you get to a recharge, you just wind this.'

"It means a chieftain tank of petrol."

"Don't worry, man. President Trump will take care of us. . ."

'Of course, the car shower is optional.'

'The president's speech on how well the recovery is going? Well, make a left at the abandoned mall, a right at the shuttered assembly plant, and a left at the closed steel mill...'

"It's our new electric car. We call it the 'Volts Wagon'."

'That charge is for my accountant because this job is going to put me in a higher tax bracket.'

'Business has doubled since we organized that women's beach volleyball tournament across the street.'

'Crash test dummy parking only' sign.

"My dog chewed up my steering wheel. Then he started gnawing on my floor mats and now he bit off my seat belt. What do you recommend?"

Where's the difference?

"I had this weird nightmare. I dreamed I was a muffler! I woke up exhausted."

General Motors.

"The new car smell is inadequate? Don't move! I'll grab our on-site aromatherapist!"

'This may take more work than we thought.'

'Do you cover the deductible?'

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

Employee of the Month: Mr Wiggles.

Union Label is Edsel

New Big Three bailout cars?

"You're a lousy grocery store."

"I've been out of work since the showroom closed down."

"The car's affordable. Going to a tech school to learn how to use all its technology will be a little costly."

"Can you deliver that to me?"