Auto Repair Worker Gifts

'That charge is for my accountant because this job is going to put me in a higher tax bracket.'

Garage - "Can't let you back there. Some of the guys like to work in the nude."

"I cleaned out your wallet for you, but the engine is still running a little rough."

Yin Yang Auto

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

Organic Soldering.

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Demonic Repossession.

'I'm OK, but the car is in 'intensive care'!'

"I hope you don't mind, but I stuck in a little prayer for General Motors."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Our Cars Are Made By 100% American-Made Robots.

'Hi Terry. Quick question about that new gearbox you put in my Polo last week.'

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

"Looks like you ran over a porcupine."

"It's worse than I thought."

Stimulus bust

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

CLEAR!

'Frankly the only Cheap way of getting rid of the knocking from the engine is to turn up the volume on the radio.'

'Don't tell me to watch my language! You give me this sort of quote, I'll give you this sort of quote!'

'I've been in this business a long time, and believe me that's not laughing.'

'Never, Ever...plan to pay for just an oil change when you take your car to the shop.'

"See what I mean, it keeps making funny noises."

Your big end has gone

'For Pete's sake, Edward - You're a PINE BEETLE. It's a little late to go into the automotive trade now!...'