Automotive Worker Gifts

'...so went to school to become a data scientist and was replaced by an algorithm."

"I hope you don't mind, but I stuck in a little prayer for General Motors."

'For Pete's sake, Edward - You're a PINE BEETLE. It's a little late to go into the automotive trade now!...'

"Did you have to pay union dues, lose your health insurance, vote Democratic, and get laid off to buy that new truck?" "You took the advertising a little too literally, Fred."

"I'm being made redundant, I've just discovered!"

Thank you, Essential Workers

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Welcome! You are now in Shambles!'

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

"You're home early, dear..." "I had a tailwind.."

Our Cars Are Made By 100% American-Made Robots.

'I found another pothole.'

"Nap time."

"This is one of those subway stations they've restored to their original state."

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

Stimulus bust

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

Bus Stop

What Holds the Subway Together?

"Oh...that's not good."

"Sorry I'm late, the crosstown is running local."

Well, let's wait and see what the GPS says next.

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."