Automotive Worker Gifts

'...so went to school to become a data scientist and was replaced by an algorithm."

"I hope you don't mind, but I stuck in a little prayer for General Motors."

'For Pete's sake, Edward - You're a PINE BEETLE. It's a little late to go into the automotive trade now!...'

"Did you have to pay union dues, lose your health insurance, vote Democratic, and get laid off to buy that new truck?" "You took the advertising a little too literally, Fred."

Thank you, Essential Workers

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Welcome! You are now in Shambles!'

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Our Cars Are Made By 100% American-Made Robots.

'I found another pothole.'

"Nap time."

"This is one of those subway stations they've restored to their original state."

Stimulus bust

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

Bus Stop

"Oh...that's not good."

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

What Holds the Subway Together?

Commuters dancing in the rain.

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

"Sorry I'm late, the crosstown is running local."

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'