Automotive Work Gifts

Taking work home.

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Take me to your mechanic."

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

Bob's Driving School.

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

Organic Soldering.

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

"Perfect."

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

'In her day, she did all the work for me, now I'm doing all the work for her.'

"I hope you don't mind, but I stuck in a little prayer for General Motors."

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

"Nap time."

Our Cars Are Made By 100% American-Made Robots.

"It's even more controversial than uber. It's a driverless taxi."

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

Parts of an automobile

'Hybrid technology does make me feel safer.'

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

Stimulus bust

'We've found the problem...'